THE POKER MONKEY…your Source for Perpetual Insanity!: Filling Out the Roster
Filling Out the Roster
Okay things are getting pretty exciting…for lots of reasons! First..we are 8 days away from zipping off to St Thomas for the Grand Opening of our bar, Bernie’s Bar & Grill in Red Hook (the part of the island, kind of like Buckhead in Atlanta!). The girls are very excited for the beach…and I have to admit, I am too! It’s so freaking beautiful down there!
Two nights ago, I almost snapped off an impromptu blog post that was inspired, or rather motivated…but a guy who posted just a RIDICULOUS comment in Raymond Davis’ Facebook Group, Real Grinders. Basically, the guy comes in asking about a certain play of his that he pulled, and asked if people thought it was an angle shoot. Well, he quickly find out it WAS…as he was brutally ambushed by poker players who used all forms of varying responses to let him know he was either a complete douchebag, or the most clueless fool who ever played the game.
It went on for a LONG time. I got into it…and was having a good time with it. Then all of a sudden, the next day, he completely edited the ‘question’ and it went from ‘I’ and being HIS story to being ‘My friend Jim’ and talked about in the third person. That managed to enrage everyone all over again. About this time…his wife (supposedly-though I have doubts about that) jumped in to support him. Telling us all what a GREAT (honestly had never heard of the guy, and a quick check on Cardplayer revealed him to have few results on his resume) player he was, and furthered that by telling us all what a wonderful guy is how and how many poker friends he had.
It was kind of nauseating. First of all…at no time did he defend HIMSELF all throughout the thread. But his wife comes chiming in? Just kind of weird. I guess I backed off exposing him and throwing him into the volcano of public scrutiny when he came in last night and posted this sappy, woe-is-me comment where he basically calls himself a doofus who just didn’t know better. Whatever. I honestly don’t care enough about the guy to invest any further energy into him. But it was funny. And for those of us who got to ‘enjoy’ that brief encounter with the guy…it was some always-appreciated free entertainment!
I took Carley fishing again yesterday. This marks the third time since getting her a fishing pole for her birthday. On Saturday I went back to Academy Sports and had her line fixed up, and bought a bunch of new tackle. We must have swapped out our bait, lures, hooks…whatever…about 30 times yesterday! And we didn’t catch ONE fish. I got a few bites…and that was it. We started at that cool grassy area to the Ocean Springs side of the Golden Nugget…then moved down to the pier by the lighthouse next to the Beau Rivage. Carley had a really good time…and I guess that’s all that matters, but I sure would like to let her experience the joy of reeling in an actual fish.
I’ve been referred by local card player…and avid spear-fisher, Jennifer Day…to a charter captain named Jay…who I guess will take us out for a little 4 hour boat trip and guarantee to catch us lots of fish. For like $150 or something. Trying to get that booked ASAP!
Played the tourney again this past Friday. Shit sandwich again. Level 7. Probably should have re-raised, even shoved…against ‘Benny’ a notorious loose, wide-range player when he raised with Jack freaking seven of diamonds…but no…I flatted his raise with Ah10h. Flop came J-10-5 with two diamonds. He made a fishy bet that felt like a miss. I called. Then I turn the gin card on the turn…Queen of hearts…giving me a pair with a Royal draw. Pffft. Never folding there. And when he moved all in…I didn’t. I bricked the river and was busto.
I then proceeded to find an extremely juicy cash game…a 1/3 game with a LOT of chips on it (uncapped game). So I decided to buy in deep…for 1500. And within an hour I was sitting at 1850 and really liking my chances of getting out of there with a few thousand if things kept going like it was. Fuck that. Everything quickly went to shit. Running QQ into KK. Flopping straights (4 times) and losing all of them….three to flushes, one to a boat…all on the river. Pretty much any way I could find to lose, I lost. Bricking 17-outers like it was my job. It was…well..it totally sucked. By the time I finally gave up, I’d managed to dust off $1900. Great session!
SPECIAL REQUEST: It’s THAT time of year again…where if you are a poker player, you probably have about 65-75% of your friends on Facebook as mutual poker players. Your newsfeeds are FLOODED right now with mostly optimistic posts about WSOP and other poker stuff taking place. It’s kind of funny…every year is the same. First two weeks…extreme confidence, excitement, optimism, even lots of bragging. Then a few weeks later…you can start to feel the frustration of all the bad beats, the long runs followed by bubbling, or annoying min-cashes. Bankrolls drying up. Lots of ‘FML’ and other colorful acronyms. And then of course…in the final month…you see the dark side of poker. Talk of suicide. Talk of drinking oneself into submission. Hatred for fellow players. Etc Etc Etc. Every year. New year. Same shit.
This is my request. Can you poker players PLEASE come up with some new buzz words? For the love of my sanity???!! First off…quit saying “WE!” We aren’t doing shit at the poker table! You are! Even if I have staked you with MY money…”We” are NOT playing the hands together. “WE” are not running bad, or good, or “Bagging and Tagging” (another irritating phrase) together. NO! It’s YOU and only YOU doing these things! So stop with the fucking “WE” okay???? And if it IS going to be “WE” then when WE WIN? I want my cut….and I want it FAST! No making us “US” wait to get paid!!!!!!
Next: I get it. You’re pumped. You’re excited. You’re feeling the ride. But can we please get rid of “LFG!??” Otherwise know as “Let’s Fucking Go?” Its SO played out! I know for a lot of you it’s just habit, kind of like “Bagged and Tagged” is. But like some of my new favorite players have done…they are embracing the opportunity to demonstrate some originality…by coming up with something that communicates the same information, but in an original and non-annoying way. Is it really that hard to use your imagination? It really shouldn’t be.
You have some other buzz words that REALLY need to be put out to pasture, or even taken out back and shot dead in the alley. For instance: “RIP.” Ironic as it…when RIP can mean Rest In Peace…like it NEEDS to do…it’s used way too often, and usually by the most annoying human beings that you might be forced (on breaks is a popular place to get ambushed by these fucktards) into discussing poker with. What they are doing with this word, is using it to describe the action of “Moving all in” with their chips. Used in a sentence: “And then…clutching a meager 12 bb’s, I ripped it with a bad suited ace and prayed.” Ugh. Ripped…your face…that’s what I want to rip when I hear you talking this nonsense.
Okay that’s enough on that topic for now. Lets move into the good shit, the shit a lot of you are reading this for. To find out who my next…and possibly LAST…if we don’t make it to 400 shares sold (and we are currently at 337 with time ticking down) two players are on this year’s 2017 WSOP TEAM MONKEY!!!!!
This has been one excruciatingly tough decision to make. In one vein…there are some applicants that really appealed to me in a personal sense, who’s story I really really enjoyed. The “everyone loves an underdog” in me was leaning hard towards a few of these people. Then there was the desire to try and place a woman on the team. It’s great for a little diversity, and to get the lady investors a little added motivation to jump on board.
Well, I had my lady picked out…and it’s probably no secret, since she essentially was one nasty three-outer away from locking up a seat in our Wild Card tourney a few weeks ago. The invitation was extended to Rebecca McCann Campbell, but after much consideration and conference with her family, she decided to go it alone. While I was disappointed to NOT have her play for us, I appreciate her decision and wish her nothing but the best in this year’s tournament!
So knowing I had to make a call to give the next two players a chance to get their travel and hotel arrangements made…I decided to go with two players who I felt the most comfortable with when it comes to my level of confidence in them cashing and perhaps getting deep in the tourney. I have a lot of investors who have been in the picture ALL four years…and while I am pretty certain they all appreciate my ability to spot talent, and endorse the reasoning behind my selections, I felt a bit of an overwhelming obligation to try and put the most SOLID team together this summer that I could. For them…mainly.
And so…without further adieu…I give you the next, and as mentioned before possibly final…two players on this year’s team.
RETURNING to the squad….the other player who cashed for us last summer….CHRISTIAN IACOBELLIS. This guy is not only a good friend…but he is a GREAT poker player. We met at the Rio almost ten years ago. He used to just DESTROY Full Tilt in its hey day. Then we swapped a piece at the Borgata Main Event back in 2010 (I think) and he final tabled that huge event. He is a PURE deep-structure tournament BEAST….and anyone would feel good having him on their team. So welcome back my man!!!!
Appearing for the first time…and a guy who I have been staking quite a bit over the past year or so…with limited results, most of it due to just terribly bad luck…which I can certainly relate to, is a guy who basically just wore me down by being persistent. No joking. To the point I almost told him to fuck off and leave me alone two or three times!!!! He has also spent about 200 hours since the fall working at my house, helping me to rebuild my gigantic deck, and stain my new fence. But he has struggled financially…and I feel all his frustrations over the past year, and know just HOW much this opportunity means to him. I also know he is a great poker player. He has some very big scores to his credit as well. And as a matter of fact, back when I was backing Mike Bratovich…and he was at a final table in Foxwoods…I was watching on the Livestream…and lo and behold…I see THIS guy across the table from Mike!
Please welcome to this summer’s team….KENNETH CHRISTOPHER! And on a side note…his cousin Bubba Thompson…who I’ve been tracking all year in HS football and baseball…is about a week or two away from being drafted in the first round of the MLB amateur draft! He’s committed to play football (or is it baseball?) at Alabama! But there is a good chance he’ll be going straight to MLB! Pretty exciting shit for Ken’s family. Wouldn’t a deep run in the WSOP Main Event be the perfect capper!???
Now then. Today is election day here in Biloxi, and my good buddy Kai Landry is running for City Council. As I mentioned in my last post…we did a commercial…and I promised I would post it. Well…I’m not a fan of myself in this thing…but here it is, as promised. I need to run down and vote for him after I post this.
As for shares? Perhaps these two new additions will spark the required amount of interest to get us sold out. We are only about 13 shares shy right now of fully funding all seven players…350 shares. Those shares are $200 per. I really am open to sending 8…and will…if I get a late run of shares requests. But I also need to make sure everyone is paid up…and have given everyone a deadline of JUNE 20th to get me PAID IN FULL or run the risk of losing their spot on the investment team.
AGAIN…if interested in joining the investment team…email me at ThePokerMonkey1@aol.com.
Oh hey! Kind of a funny story. Liv Boeree, who I became friends with back when she was dating my good buddy Allie Prescott…has gone on to enjoy a pretty successful poker career in the past 5 or 6 years since we met. We occasionally exchange hello’s on Facebook. Well about three weeks ago…I dropped her a line, basically just catching up. I didn’t hear back from her. No biggie. WSOP was coming up…figured she’s busy…whatever, right?
Then the other day I’m leafing through the newsfeed, and I see that she is down to five in that big 10k Tag Team WSOP event…and holding the chip lead. Awesome! Well…I was sitting in traffic somewhere, and all of a sudden she hits me with this really long response to my message to her. And I’m like…”‘Wait a second, Liv…aren’t you like…at the Final Table of a really huge event going for really huge money? And NOW you decide to respond to me!????” Really kind of blew my mind. I mean…at that moment…you had to KNOW she was getting bombarded with all the usual kind of messages you get when you’re on a deep run in a poker tourney. Any way…I thought it was kind of cute and amusing. Oh…and then she and her partner…who’s name is really long and hard to pronounce, proceeded to win the damn thing…giving Liv her first-ever WSOP bracelet! So HUGE CONGRATS to her! She deserves it…she’s a great chick!!!!